Dear Joel and Kathy,

This book has changed my life! Before reading it I felt like my 12 year marriage to Amy was at a dead end; there was no place to turn for help.

I believed that Amy was to blame for all of our marital problems. I would often remind her of her faults. She seemed almost lifeless. I felt that that Amy was always nagging and complaining. No matter how many times I tried to correct her of this, it only made the situation worse. Amy would mention divorce on a regular basis saying that she wished she had never married me. She would often lose her temper and would sometimes throw things at me in disgust. Our situation appeared hopeless.

I had done everything I knew to change Amy! I would pray for hours at a time and wonder why God would never change her! Nothing that I said or did made a difference. I could argue for hours as to why I was such a good husband and was not to blame for any of our problems. I left the marriage for another woman. Amy and I each had an attorney in whom we trusted to take care of the details. That would be the end of it.

Praise God! Divorce was not God's plan for our lives! I thank God for "The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!" Without it I would have missed out on the best years of my life and caused much harm to Amy and our children. How could I ever have been so deceived?

Amy read “The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!” first. When she told me how much the book meant to her I insisted that it must be one sided. If Amy agreed with it then it must be wrong! Amy told me that it spoke to both men and women and I wanted to find the things that spoke to the women! I began to read the book!

After reading the first few chapters I was irate. I looked forward to calling the authors in the morning to tell them how wrong they were about marriage relationships! I was not to blame! Amy was the problem! As I continued reading, the Holy Spirit moved in my heart and the scales fell from my eyes. I began to see that Amy was the woman of my dreams! Ninety pages later I fully realized that Joel and Kathy Davisson couldn’t have been more correct regarding husbands and wives.

"The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!" began to change my life. I could hardly believe that I had been blind to so many things that were now crystal clear concerning the problems in our marriage. I confessed to Amy that it was I who had been wrong all along. Before those scales were removed I truly had no idea that it was I who had the problems! I had been sincere but wrong!

As I applied the principles in Joel and Kathy’s book our relationship immediately changed for the better. I have gotten my act together; Amy's problems have magically disappeared! I never would have believed this to be possible until I experienced it myself.

Amy and I feel like young teenagers in love again!
Every aspect of our life is full of hope and excitement! I praise God for the forgiveness and patience that Amy has extended to me and for the life that we now have together.

Thank you Joel and Kathy from the bottom of my heart for showing me how to be "The Man of Her Dreams". Amy surely is "The Woman of Mine!" If not for your book I would have missed out on all of the beautiful years that God has in store for my future as a husband to Amy. My three precious children would have missed out on having me as resident "daddy" and I would have missed out on being resident "daddy" to them. How blessed we as a family are.

May God bless you both,
Kenneth Robinson Tulsa Oklahoma

Thanks so much Joel!!!! We know how much shipping books and tapes as we send them all over the country to wherever Bob is ministering, so we appreciate you doing that for us!!! I will send you a check to cover the books!!! I can't wait to sit down and read it myself!!! fyi....my Bob is a 'CHANGED MAN' because of this book!!!! Bless you!!!! Jayne

Dear Joel and Kathy,

"The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!" should be mandatory reading for every married couple in ministry. There are a lot of couples in ministry that never would have experienced the heart break of divorce if they could have got hold of the wisdom this book shares.

Thank you so much for your continued help and encouragement at such a difficult time in my life.

Margarita
Church Co-Founder, Florida

Dear Joel and Kathy,

I have been counseling with a couple for over a month now. There has been some change. The progress has been slowed by years of disappointment. It has been further complicated by controlling, stubborn temperaments and the husband has only done some of his homework. He has shown some signs of change, but for only a couple days each week; the rest of the time he reverts to his old behavior.

I did not think that I would have any success in getting him to read a whole book on marriage. When they arrived for their last session, I first met with the husband. After this, he relaxed in the waiting room as I worked with his wife. Imagine my surprise when his wife and I emerged from our session and found him reading "The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!" He said, "I am taking this home, well, can I take this home? I actually am almost done with it." Joel and Kathy, I could hardly believe it! He was 2/3 the way through and couldn't put it down. I was so excited to see him fully interested in his marriage in that way. I am very pleased at the approach Joel and Kathy take in this book. It's real people with real answers. I have ordered additional copies for use with clients and I highly recommend its use to other professional marriage counselors. Praise God!


Lisa Winchell
Licensed Pastoral Counselor

Hi Joel,

I finally gave Pastor Colby your book that you sent. We had a Pizza Dinner Tuesday night and she said that it is the most wonderful book on marriage she has ever laid her hands on. You should have heard her. She went on and on about how wonderful the book is. She said that so many marriages would be changed if the husband would read your book from the beginning to the end. She wants the couples that she counsels to read this book.

Thank you again for sending this book for Pastor Sherry Colby, from Victory Worship Center, Lake Worth, Florida.

Betty Ann Adams

Note from Joel and Kathy: When Betty Ann called to order a copy of "The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!", we felt impressed to send a free second copy for her Pastor. As of this date, March 20, 2005, this was the only time we have felt led to do this. The testimony you just read is a result of this seed sown.

Dear Joel and Kathy,

Greetings in the mighty name of our lord and master Jesus Christ.

It is also my greatest pleasure to receive this wonderful and life transforming book through Mr. Sam Glover. I have known Mr. Sam for many years and have received gifts from him but I must say that this book is the greatest gift I have ever received.

I am Pastor Felix Henry Dorwu and my wife is wonderful lady called Abigail. I am the founder and leader of Abundant Grace Apostolic Church a small but very vibrant church in Tema Ghana.

I bless the name of the Lord who thinks about His own and gives them what the need to make it in life when need be. Glory to the lord again and again because He will always remain faithful to His children giving them what they need to solve their problems. AMEN!!

My wife sends her love and greetings.

Love you and bye for now,

Pastor Felix and Abigail

Dear Joel and Kathy

I took a trip to Mexico on Friday and brought your book along. I read every word on every page during my layovers and on the ride to Monterrey. It is a fabulous book. I want to encourage you always in your efforts to share what you've lived and learned. I can see you have escaped the false "submission/headship" teachings that de-value women and keep men in a state of ignorance. Jo and I are married for 29 years and have had a marriage epiphany for the last ten since God started dealing with me on how to truly love and appreciate her as the gift from God she is and always has been.

As God's people, we are virtually clueless about God's plan for couples. For me, it was like God grabbed me by the back of the neck and said, "Hey, there! Wake up!" Jo and I worked at a Teen Challenge center for a couple years, 2000-02, and did a lot of marriage counseling there, and it was the same old, "She doesn't care about my needs" attitude we dealt with consistently, but our approach is very much like yours. We emphasize the need of the husband to love his wife the bible way, putting her needs ahead of his own. We are so in love every day and it spills over into every area of life.

Jo and I celebrated our 29 year anniversary on Tuesday. We went away for the day and stayed at a nice motel with a whirlpool hot tub. Inspired I think by your book, I took Jo shopping and spent every penny I earned on my trip to Mexico on her wardrobe. She was blown away. For years she has been outfitting me for business and ministry, and this reciprocation was way past due. It really is more blessed to give than receive, and I sure enjoyed seeing her shop.

I wrote a song on a pizza box when she was out of town back in '98 at a women's conference, and recorded it a couple of years later. I'm sure you'll see God's heart in it. I too was inspired by Proverbs 18:22, and also the preceding verse about the power of the tongue.
Here's a link to take you to the song which can be played in a variety of formats. The name of the song is 'Married'

I am married to a daughter of God/ He has given a great treasure to me/ I will love her for the rest of my life/ My wife is a daughter of God
She is beautiful/ She makes me laugh/ She's my closest friend/ She shows me the Father's love (chorus)
She believes in me/ When I feel afraid/ She knows what to say/ To keep me in the race (chorus)
She tells me the truth/ Though some times it hurts/ And she touches me as only a woman can (chorus)

By the way, I used to work for a Christian publisher and met Charles and Frances Hunter on several occasions. I pray you will always be guided by God's wisdom. Your children are beautiful. The boys look like Dad and the girls look like Mom. Cool!!!! Hope to be an encouragement to you. You can count Jo and me as friends who see the wisdom of your message.

Love,
David and Jo Benrexi
www.MyDaddyLovesMe.org

http://www.mydaddylovesme.org/cd_dntg.html

Dear Joel and Kathy,

I want to thank you for bringing your life experiences out in the open for the world to see. You guys are the most real people I have ever met.

The first day I saw a change in him even though he claimed he had not read it! A week later, Brian confessed that he had indeed read it in one sitting!

He is really doing great and yes; it changes me without any effort! It is amazing how far kindness and respect goes. It is still early, but I already feel happier and he looks and acts happier too. After 19 years of marriage, 11 which have been unhappy, we are finally on the road to recovery.

Thank you both for all the advice and for keeping our marriage in your prayers!

Bianca James
Houston, Texas

Dear Kathy and Joel:

What a difficult thing to accomplish – becoming one!!

What a simple but awesome concept designed to achieve that!!

When Charles and Frances Hunter gave us your book, I picked it up and was riveted! I literally did not put it down until I had read it all! I could not believe how awesomely simple and ‘right on’ it is. The next night I read it a second time! "The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!" has changed my life!

What an empowering revelation to hear that I have the right to expect a deep, meaningful, bonded, and successful relationship with my husband in which my needs are valued and met!!

What a relief to know that I’m not a lunatic after all! That is how I used to feel when I responded negatively to being ignored, feeling devalued and unloved!!

What a liberating validation knowing that I have a right to expect to be an equal member of the marital team!!

Thank you Kathy and Joel for writing this book which has so empowered me!!

I wish every couple – married or about to be – would have a copy of this awesome book!!
GOD Bless!!
Linda Everitt
Dear Joel and Kathy,
Thank you for all the ‘real world’ advice. From your insights I have learned to better appreciate my wife’s feelings and perspective. Many helpful ideas and principles are presented in a very clear and useful manner. I recommend "The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!" to all couples. It is very insightful and makes it easy to understand -- continued communication is key to a healthy relationship. I look forward to the expanded edition you will be offering in November '04!

Thanks,
Wallace Everitt

Joel and Kathy,

Your tremendous book is totally a work of the Holy Spirit... totally inspired by God.

I plan on devoting several pages to very worthwhile publications in "A Place Called Heaven: Volume 2". Your book will be in this chapter, with your permission.

I am in touch with the top level military chaplains in Iraq. Your publication is sorely needed in the re-establishing of normal family life after Iraq with the stress related D.T.S.D. as well as other vital personal problems.
I am recommending your book to Major Ken Sorenson; Brigade Chaplain in Iraq.

Dr. Richard Sigmund D.D. Phd D.O.
Author: "A Place Called Heaven"
Dr. Richard is widely known as "Little Richard" from his days as a child preacher who preached in the tent meetings of the 50's with Oral Roberts, A.A. Allen, William Branham etc.

Hello Joel and Kathy,

I shared your book with my pastor and you called her when she emailed you. Thank you so much for being so personal and reachable. I was in a marriage with a Bishop for 31 yrs. and he decided to divorce me and marry a women in the church we pastored. Well today I am free and trying to complete the process of restoration.

Continue to do a good work, and I will continue to share your book with other couples.

In His Grip,
Sarah Adams

Dear Joel and Kathy,

This is Pastor Linda from WOFFC. I have been giving your books away to so many couples that I lost track of how many I had left. So I need to get an order in. I tried ordering via the website but I am in need of about 40 books and I can only order up to 20 then it jumps to 100. If you can let me know how to go forward with the order I would appreciate it.

I know that you received a phone call from a woman in our church by the name of Tara Maines. She and her husband are just soaking it up. My husband has read it as well and has given his copy away as well as my copy. We have a couple in a marriage crisis at the present time and the wife has just finished the book and has left it for her husband to read. We are believing for him to come to our encounter as well as read the book and are expecting restoration in their lives.

Thank you for sharing your ministry with us.

Serving him
PL

Hi, Joel and Kathy!

Tina and I are doing great! It is amazing how much progress we've made in our marriage in the past few months after 15 years of dysfunction. I gave the book to my father (my dad and I are much alike). He is now working the program and attending our men's support group with Tom and Jim. Your book is really changing lives! Tina and I look forward to seeing you again in April. Keep up the good work!

Adam & Tina Smith

Joel and Kathy,

I got your Four CD audio book of "The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!" and I am already listening to it. I have a couple I am counseling and it confirms everything I have shared with them (same Holy Spirit). God is so awesome and I know that when they listen to the whole thing, then they too will defeat the enemy who is trying to divide their home.

Thank you so much. Your teaching removes that backward way that most Christians try to make a marriage work. It has to start with the husband and so many write books on how women can manipulate their husbands into loving them and it just does not work. Thanks for the wisdom you share.

God Bless
Diann Messer

What a book!

Joel and Kathy Davisson bare all in "The Man of Her Dreams, The Woman of His." This easy to read book is transparent in its discussion of true marital woes prominent in Christian households. Joel's fresh look at biblical texts that have long been contorted to define marriage as a hierarchy as opposed to the partnership God intended sets this book apart from others.

Men have traditionally been ignored as being equal party to the health and success of a relationship. Kathy's narratives are instructive and reflect heroism under-acknowledged, as she and so many other women have be victims of men’s self-serving theology.

The freedom that is the Gospel should exist in our marriages. This book directs men to free themselves and, most importantly, their mates as Christ has freed us. I challenge Christian men, Black and White, to resist living out the stereotype assigned by popular culture of being clueless schmucks regarding relationships. It is time to buck up and lead our marriages to the blissful state Joel and Kathy now enjoy.

Roderick Burton
Author; The Moral State of Black America

Good Evening,

I am reading your book and it gives me hope. My Wife and I are separated and I have chosen to stand in faith fro our marriage. I do not know what is going to happen, which is of course what makes it ten times harder… I am in the Navy out at sea for about a month or so and wondering what I am facing when I get back….

My wife asked me to give her time and space, which I have been only moderately successful at… I have determined not to call and limit my E-mails to safe topics… She asked me to E-mail her, but said she would answer if she felt like answering… Not a lot to go on. We have a 7 year old who keeps telling me to not give up. The other night I had him for the weekend, and we were lying in bed and he said, “Don’t give up Daddy. The devil wants you to give up. Stay with God Daddy.” It blew me away.

I have no real idea why I am telling you all of this, except that I have to tell someone. Our relationship break is my fault. I have been abusive, verbally for years. I never truly realized how it was impacting my Wife. Now I fully realize that her attitude is a direct reflection of my bad behavior.

One thing I wanted to mention. UI recently quit caffeine. I say this because I had been drinking a lot, years in the service and all, and I stumbled across some info on caffeine borderline toxic syndrome. Some of the websites call it caffeinism, and I suffered most of the negative symptoms associated with it. I quit caffeine 9 days ago and the stress and anger and inability to stop myself from doing and saying things has almost completely gone.

It has been amazing and I feel like I have shaved about ten years off. I mention it, because I think there could be more than a couple of folks out there like me who have been grossly impacted by the amount of coffee they drink. We are not talking 50 cups a day here… Some people can be impacted by 2-4. I was drinking the equivalent of around 10-12 and that is literally poisonous. Anyway, I am rambling a bit. Just thought it might be something to consider.

Carl

Joel & Kathy

Our marriage was in a heap of trouble. (Leading up to our receiving a copy of "The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!" which was given to us by our Pastor)

My husband had become involved with a woman on the Internet that led to an affair in 2001. He also was viewing porn on the Internet.

I thought it had all ended and found in 2004 that the woman he had the affair with was still writing to him and was planning to move to our State.

Needless to say I was devastated.

However, because I took my marriage vows seriously, having made a commitment before God, and believing we marry for BETTER or for WORSE, I refused to get a divorce.

Instead I began praying that God would restore my marriage and that he would give me a marriage made in heaven.

I went to my Pastor and told her about it. She, and other members of the church began to pray in agreement that God would restore our marriage.

When I found he was in porn again, I confronted him and told him that God and Satan could not live in the same house. I would not divorce him, but I could not let him live under the same roof, if I wanted to receive blessings from God.

He said he wanted our marriage and needed my help to keep him accountable.

It was then that our Pastor gave us your book. (As she had just discovered it.)

I read it in a day and the next day my husband read it.

Today, God has definitely answered my prayer.

I truly have a wonderful husband.

Our communication is so much more than ever before, and for the first time in the 20 years we have been married, I feel my husband truly loves me.

I shared my book with so many and had so many more that wanted to read it, that I ordered 2 more. At the moment they are all out being read and I have more people wanting to read it.

My husband and I are truly blessed and pray that God will use our marriage as an example of what a commitment to a marriage really means.

Mary in Minnesota

Hi Joel and Kathy,

Good things are happening around here! My husband and I were both surprised at how difficult it has been for him to hear my heart.

There was much more hurt in there than my husband had anticipated. He kind of thought, " Oh, this will be a piece of cake".

My husband shares that he feels as though he has been born again. Everything in his Christianity is becoming new. Some day I hope he tells you about it. I want him to share with you. (Note from Joel: We often tell men that they have to "really" get born again.. that their born-again experience stopped at the outside of their front door! I felt like Becky''s husband.. that I had gotten totally born again - but it was not until 18 years after I asked Jesus into my heart!)

As for me, I keep asking him, "Is this real, do you mean it?"

Just last night as he was giving me a back message I began to tear up. I told him that his touch was bringing healing to my heart.

Also, it is a little difficult for me to realize that I was not wrong all these years. My desires for our marriage and for how to serve the Lord were not wrong. This brings so much hope to me and to my husband.

Some day, we will have a ministry. Praise God! Joel and Kathy, you are bearing good fruit with this ministry and message that the Lord has given to you to give.

God bless and love in Christ,

Becky (and Nathan)

P.S. That Pastor''s wives'' web site was so sad. http://www.rockdove.com/pwsupprt.html
I can''t even read it. My husband has been reading to see just how much damage that Christian men are doing to their wives and to learn the hurts that are in Christian women. He wants to understand to never hurt me again. (Note from Joel and Kathy: What a smart husband!)

Hi Kathy,

This was a great message and very nice to hear from you. (Referring to the newsletter: "It is my turn now" from Kathy)

I am so hoping that I too will get past the pain of remembering and truly move on.

My husband and I are both very hopeful. Things are looking good.

Every time I start to get all weepy or angry etc. we hang tight and go for the ride until it passes. This is something new for both my husband and myself.

In the past whenever I would go through emotional struggles my husband would take charge and talk me out of it, etc. He was thinking that was what he was supposed to do.

It is a new thing for the both of us to just allow me to vent and for my husband to simply validate my feelings and continue to love me through it.

Praise God, we are both learning and growing in this new teaching and understanding.

In Christ,

Becky (and Nathan)

Joke

Well, it''s not a midlife crisis, but here''s how things worked out for me.
After being married 25 years, one day I took a look at my wife and said, "Honey, do you realize 25 years ago, I had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blond.
Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I''m sleeping with a 50 year Old Woman.
It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

Now my wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blond, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed....

I shut up and took out the trash. .




Dear Joel and Kathy,

You guys are an answer to our prayers.

MY husband is very loving and kind. In many, many ways he has been a great husband.

The main problem we were having and could not figure out the solution was that I would go into fits and sometimes rages over sexual issues.

The Lord has helped us understand (through your teaching) that my husband needs to bring emotional healing to me. I needed to be able to expose my whole heart to him, without his getting defensive or offended at what I had to say.

He needed to own the deep hurts that he put into me for many years. It was painful and scary for me to open up and trust that my husband could take it.

Well Joel, your words to men to stop being immature babies affected my husband.

Now he says, "I'm not a baby, don't treat me like one, tell me what you have to, I can take it". Praise God!

I have been able to tell my husband the ways he had hurt me in the past, things that I had felt he didn't understand how deeply I had been hurt.

Also, I have been able to express to him that I need his total devotion. I need to know that I am enough for him. (We have 12 children, I am 45 yrs.old, he is 40 yrs. old, we celebrated our 20th anniversary on May 31st.)

I am hoping that this will give me the healing and closure like you say it will. My husband says that of course it will. He truly wants to be this Godly man of God to me. I am blessed beyond measure. God is faithful.

We have added you both to our prayer list for protection and that the Lord will bless and multiply your ministry.

Much love in Christ,

Lori

Dear Joel and Kathy,

Here is my testimony:

A little more than six months ago, I started receiving
messages from Joel and Kathy Davisson, about their
books and marriage ministry... For a long time, I
paid no mind to the messages at all. But God had
those messages there for a reason.

I have been married for eight years, and struggled
through about seven and a half of those years in my
marriage. I finally got to the point where I didn''t
know what to do anymore -- I really felt like my
marriage was about to end, no matter what I did.

I saw another of Joel and Kathy''s messages, and
decided to "check it out..."

Their website is entitled simply
www.godsavemymarriage.com And I had no other
options. We have been to counseling, we have
"communicated" and fought and I have submitted.

I have tried everything I knew to do, and anything my
pastor''s wife or my pastor would advise me to do....
NOTHING was working. I decided that I didn''t have
much to lose; I might as well go to their seminar. If
this didn''t work either...

I can say that in the last two or three months, I
FINALLY have hope for my marriage. I finally can see
that God really did plan my marriage,and that HE will
keep us together. My husband is -- for the FIRST
time, truly participating in the healing and growth of
our marriage, and in changing the way we have been
living for the years we have been married.

Joel and Kathy''s book, and marriage seminars, were my
last ditch effort to find SOMETHING that would save my
marriage - and it is working!

Because we live near the Davisson''s and have been
attending their ongoing seminar for ten weeks in
Ormond Beach, Florida, we have spent many hours with
Joel and Kathy and their children. We have spent whole
days with them.

We have counseled on the phone and through the email
with them.

We have sat at their house, simply to observe their
behavior... they are very real people.

They share their problems from the past, so that
others may get healing from similar problems. Joel is
not sharing without Kathy''s consent, and Kathy is not
sharing without Joel''s. They are great people.

We are so glad we met them. Things are not perfect yet
in our marriage but they are better than they have
ever been before!

Mary(and Dan)

Hi Kathy and Joel,

Just wanted to pass along a "good" piece of news for a
change!

He finally did it last night -- WITHOUT MY REMINDER!!!
For about the last three weeks, I have been talking
to Dan about having that "talk" with at least the
oldest of our children -- the one where he "takes
ownership" of all this junk, and apologizes for being
such a poor example, and tells him it''s NOT all my
fault that we keep having so many problems and
fights....

Monday, it became a little more pressing to me, after
a conversation I had with John -- and realizing he
sees it just that way -- mommy yells at daddy so
much... Like I was ''the big bad mean wifey''.....
Hurts coming from your eleven year old-- who was there
BEFORE the husband!!

But last night, DAN told John to stay up after the
little ones were going to bed, and talked to him,
letting him know that it was DAN''S fault that we
have been living the way that we have. That he was
slacking in HIS responsibilities, and that is why I
was always upset with him... That it''s not my
fault... And even told him, "the next time you see
mommy yelling at me, look at me and think about what I
have done (or not done!) to make her f eel that way
AGAIN."

I was amazed!!! AND THEN, after John went to bed,
Dan asked me what I needed him to do -- and then HE
DID IT!... and then... we did our bible study
together, like we were supposed to.....

I am like, ready to fall over and die!!


FINALLY smiling,
: )

Mary

Instead of adding more testimonies to this page, we have started a marriage forum. Here is that information. Would you like to find a place online where you can get help and marriage mentoring on an ongoing basis - for free?
Would you like to be able to "look over the shoulder" and into the lives of other couples who are getting help for their marriages?
Check out Joel and Kathy's Marriage Forum at: www.JoelandKathy.com/boards/